Is your favorite band Temple of the Dog? Do you make regular dalmations to charity? Do you order a coffee and beagle for breakfast? If so, there’s only one place you like to stay when you visit Colliefornia: The Orlando, specifically its exclusive Urban Spa Getaway for Pooch and You, the best way to experience L.A. with your furry soul mate.
You stroll in clutching your latte in your left hand and your chihuahua, Barbie Girl, in your right. You set her down and together, you sashay through the lobby, turning heads as usual. She cannot wait to climb in your purse to explore the major shopping (Beverly Center, The Grove, 3rd Street) that is happening tomorrow, and all within walking distance.
You and Barbie Girl are booked into the Entertainment Suite Patio Room. You walk in and turn on the widescreen TV - to your horror, “Marley and Me” is playing, so you quickly turn it off before Barbie Girl notices (too triggering). You jump on the Tempurpedic bed, where there are turn down snacks for you and BG, and take some selfies before examining the hotel-supplied hiking map to nearby Runyon Canyon.
Runyon is THE hiking spot for celebrity pets and their owners, and you’ve heard Matthew McConaughey likes to stroll shirtless through the park. You and Barbie Girl make a plan to sniff up on the earthy aroma of those sweaty Hollywood insiders, ASAP…better get groomed first.
Which leads us to Barbie Girl’s favorite part of the package - a spa day at nearby luxury pet salon, Vanderpump Dogs, complete with shampoo and condition, brush and blowout, paw massage & “pawdicure.” You order her the Blueberry Facial as an extra (it gets rid of tear stains) and an aromatherapy treatment, a powerful blend of chamomile, lavender and sweet marjoram—doggie Xanax, basically.
Then it’s your turn to get McConaughey-ready. Lucky you—included in The Orlando package is a “Red Carpet Facial” from Face Haus, wash and blow out from the Dry Bar, and a spray tan from Sugared & Bronzed. Of course, Barbie Girl is with you every step of the way, and by the time you hit Runyon, both in matching Neiman Barkus Couture, one might say you’re the fiercest bitches in town.
You hike all damn day, and still no sign of McConaughey (wah wah) but you have worked up an appetite - so you head back to The Orlando, where you’re spoiled for culinary choice with local favorites Son of a Gun, El Carmen, Little Door and Joan’s on Third all nearby. In the end though, you decide to dine at the hotel's very own Cleo, serving eastern and southern Mediterranean cuisine (also available as room service for hotel guests, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
You and Barbie Girl split the branzino, followed by a nightcap by the small but perfectly-heated pool. There’s nothing like dipping your tired, freshly pedicured toes (or paws) in the water, in the moonlight, with your best friend. When an ambulance siren passes, Barbie Girl can’t help but sing along, and you remember she really is a star. And today, thanks to the Orlando, you helped her feel like one.
The Orlando Hotel
8384 W 3rd St, Los Angeles 90048